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What would you do if someone harmed your child? I read something today that touched a nerve in me and I knew that I had to write about it. What I read was posted on Facebook. The gist of it was that if someone harmed their child the person who caused the harm could be sure that the parent would kill them. Who wouldn’t right? Wrong. Read on.
As parents, I think most of our first instincts would be exactly what this person said they would do. Make them pay first, deal with the consequences later. You need to ask yourself if you’re doing this for your child, or are you doing it for you?
Let’s get to the point
Okay, now that I’ve made everyone mad, I should probably get to the point I’m trying to make. If you cause bodily harm to the perpetrator, chances are very good that you will end up in jail. How is that helping your child? Now they have to suffer alone without the comfort of their parent’s love.
Lack of retaliation does not make you weak
Just because you don’t harm the person who caused your child pain does not mean you accept what they did, nor does it make you weak. Just the opposite. If you can show restraint you are amazingly strong and should be proud of yourself for keeping it together.
What should you do?
Find out what services are available to help your child. Talk to your family doctor, ask them for a recommendation. Help law enforcement gather the information needed to prosecute the individual. Whatever you do, don’t ignore it and think that you’ll be able to help your child on your own. Unless you are a professional you may do them more harm than good.
Let your family and friends help you if they ask
Don’t take the weight of the world (believe me, that’s what it will feel like) on your shoulders. If family and friends offer help, accept it. You’ll be traveling a very long road to your child’s recovery, don’t go it alone if you have a choice.
Take care of yourself
You won’t be of help to anyone if you don’t take care of yourself too. If it’s an option to you I would highly recommend counseling. Sometimes it really helps to talk to someone who is not directly involved in the situation, a neutral party. If counseling is not an option, you could try your clergyman.
Life, and the legal system, isn’t always fair
In the interest of protecting innocent people, I will just tell you that what you think, hope, and pray will happen to the guilty party does not always happen. Especially if it is their first offense. You need to prepare yourself, and possibly your child depending on their age, for this. In our situation we hoped and prayed that the person would receive a stiff sentence. They didn’t. Although very disappointing, I had to keep my faith and let God and karma take control (like I had a choice right? God is always in control!)
Keeping the Faith
You’re probably thinking I’m crazy and believe me, so did I. My faith was definitely tested. I kept asking how God could He let something like this happen. We were good people, we didn’t deserve to go through this. In fact, when the sentence was handed out I was asked “where’s your God now?” and I could not answer. Why? Because I was wondering the same thing. It took a friend to remind me that we are all God’s children and that he will deal with this person. I may never know what price the guilty party paid for what they did and I’ve come to accept it.
I know what it’s like to feel that you want to cause harm to the person who harmed your child or children. It’s easy to take revenge but you need to ask yourself if causing your child the pain of losing you is worth the physical pain you’ll cause the guilty party. Your child needs, and is counting on you to be the strong one and I don’t mean physically, I mean emotionally and mentally.
Please feel free to leave your comments below. Until we meet again, please be safe.
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**The content within this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice. Always seek the advice of you physician or other qualified professional with any questions you may have.